To me, the “real world” is set up based on certain expectations of behavior correlating with certain environments. That doesn’t make them any less made-up; that just makes them more agreed-upon by all the individuals who have either voted upon them or grown up only knowing what life is like within them. As a seducer and a lover of fantasy, I am less interested in deconstructing the existing establishment, and more interested in how I can creatively construct these worlds of my own.
Fantasy becomes reality when you commit to it. Things have meaning because we assign them meaning. In the BDSM world for example, a collar is a symbol of a relationship of ownership that two people have mutually agreed upon. Take away that relationship and the collar is merely a strip of leather, just an accessory. I try to hint at those things that I want just in the choices that I make in everyday life for myself and my environment. My wardrobe and my appearance are also signifiers of what kind of behavior to expect from me and what kind of people I might like to have around me. Some of those choices happen naturally and some of them have been purposeful decisions. For example, I’ve always had an obsession with nice lingerie, but handily enough, the story that that tells about me, that I enjoy sexual experiences that feel luxurious and exclusive, is also true. I’m a woman who is deliberately choosing her identity and exercising some sway over the worlds she creates. I am choosing that out of my passion, my rawness, the parts of me that feel the most real. I’m showing you the truest parts of myself when I commit to living the stories that most deeply inspire me.
The world around us is what we make of it. I’m not suggesting we all stop abiding by society’s laws. I’m saying instead that if you wake up every day and do things in the way that is “normal” or “expected”, then you’re missing out on the ecstasy of creating your own reality. You have the right to create your own worlds with your own rules, and this is nowhere truer than in your relationships. All that matters is that everyone within them is happily agreeing to participate. Everything is made up, so you might as well make it interesting to you.